Pig's weapon of pain-inducing this week comes to us from Dead On Tools. It is a multipurpose device usable in both smashing and stabing situations. One end features a hammer head and prybar tip, ideal for striking someone at shin level or hooking into flesh. The other end features a large spike to drive into a body to "finish the job" once they are on the ground. Also handy for fighting vampires.
As we have seen, Christmas Pig's favorite weapon is the crowbar. But how does he hold it? Usually in his mouth. But he also holds it in his hand. "His hand?" you may ask. "How does he hold it in his hands? That pig ain't got no thumbs." The answer is simple. He holds it using the same power that allows him to walk and talk and attempt murder: magic. Specifically, the magic of Christmas.
The magic of Christmas is real. It is what makes people feel happy that time of year. It is what drives people to buy presents for family that they see once a year. It is what makes people open their hearts to the less fortunate. But all magic has a dark side. The dark side of the magic of Christmas is what drives people to trample store employees on Black Friday. It causes people to be short tempered with their loved ones. It drives people to mace their neighbors to get an Xbox and then blame their kids. This is what fuels Christmas Pig. He is the embodiment of all that is wrong with Christmas. A symbol of greed and violence. This is his nature. And he will destroy you.
